I'm a failure

It's late...i'm wishing that i can sleep as soon as possible..but,my brain keep alarming me from sleep..i'm so superfluous and confusing...I cried jz now.cried so hard...yea....is true...i cant accept the truth..i really hope that all of this just a dream..but,it is reality.i cant evade from it,should confront it.....feel curious what had happen on me,rite?..hmm...just now,when chatting with B,she ask"if i gt lover,but that lover not you..what your feeling??''....I thought it was a joke..but,my greatest fear was comfirm when she more and more serious.....when i ask"who is your lover?"..B replied "he is my best friend".....
GOD!!It's between love and friendship...STOP MAKE FOOL ON ME.............................
I wonder,why cant forget you?izzit want to observe my promiss?cause i gt promiss you before that i will love you forever ..or just show my loyalty??..Wrong!!Definitely wrong..I really love you,if dun hv da felling,i wont make myself like a nut,idiot person.. .. I really don't have any idea,1 is my best friend,1 is my lover...can somebody tell me how to solve this arduous problem?now..im totally tired already,hate L.O.V.E!!!!B..i really don't know what my next step?I have 2 choice now..1st is continue loving you,but i cant even get your heart..2nd is respect your decision and let you go...You have your own choice...i cant force you...Inadequate dosen't bring any happiness..It is right...i think it is de right time to give up....I totally ran out of spirit and strength..ok...i told myself.....today is de time...day to say goodbye to you...no matter how hard i cried,u cant see...you wont turn back and have a look on me..This time,i really gonna put you outta my mind..........B.......For the last time..once again...Saranghaeyo and Sayonara....No matter how you are,life still need to continue....Hope you can dismiss from my heart in short time.........................................................................................................................................................
Wish that no more love occur on me after this..That's all..
By the way,thanks to friends who care for me...

What is LIFE and LOVE???

What is LIFE??i keep ask this question on myself..some people say that,life is short and glorious...But,for me,i think life is meaningless...I tried to make it wonderful but life is not beauty as you think.In life,we would face lot of matter,problem such as friend,love,family,study problem.How can we manage it??If want become a successful person,da only way just study??If like that,izit mean that if we not study,we cant become a successful and useful person??Life is hard and not simple..now im taking diploma in electical engineering course..What the hell is this??!!i really don't know...Honestly,this is not my ambition or aspiration..I don't give a shit on this!!My parents force me to came here,i really obscure.They say that this is the best opportunity for me..Izzit my future is on their hand??How come they can help me decide anything without my permission?Everytime when my parents drop a call to show solicitude for me,i just told them everything at here is fine although the reality is indisposed..Now i must learn independence..OK..then..What's my ambition??i wish that i can become well-known artist..STOP LAUGHING..it's true.i I told some of my friend that i want become artist,most of them sneer at me,plus the face countenance.I already knew that they won't support me.Among 10 of them,just only gt 1 o 2 person support me..To become a artist,izzit very catastrophe??Can i perform well in dancing or singing nor acting?Well..if got the chance,i will try my best to learn it and perform as well as i could..YEAH!!Now..i think just continue my life at here with a little hope that my dreams may come true in 1 day.......

What is LOVE??

.........

....................

..............................

take long time to think it...i have no idea about the meaning of love...Blur up on this question..ok,since the topic is about love..Let me share my love routine to you all...Start with my frist love,it was happened when im in form 2.I think my age just around 14..Shock rite??.i still remember that how i knew her (Y).Y is older than me 5 year..It's all started during Lalu-Lintas competition,Y as the tutor of our group,she gave consideration to me than others...Soon,we fall in love each other,maybe im still childish minded at that time so accept her love.She very look after at me.But,our love been excluded...I listen lot of bad stuff about Y..I cant believe it at all and take no heed on it..Day after day,i felt her became more and more queer and tried to conceal something to let me know..One day,I knew that Y gt another boyfriend and already together long time ago....I really had a hard time..I make a decision to broke up with her..It's not about Y got other boyfriend by the way also included age problem..I never forget occasion when i said i want to broke up with Y..It so impress and i felt very sorry on Y.Our love just last for 3 month...But,what can i do??Just let it go.........Wish you all the best...........


Few year past..I meet her (A) during BI tuestion..Same as the situationof Y,although we just knew each other,but,we become very close friend in short time...Furthermore,A share lot of load on her mind to me..That why become very closed friend..Also in blur condition,i don't know when and why we will together.I admit that,i don't have any feeling toward A.But then,still blur blur together..In short time,we broke up..What a puppy love!!!haha..but,A now still my best friend,always share problem to each other...



During form 5,meet B...B give me a damn great impression..pretty,nice,cute,intelligent girl....That time,B just broke off with her boyfriend(What a stupid person in this world,can't you treasure B since you get her heart)..I try to close with B,thanks god,i really did it...But,some of my friend spread out the news(i wanna chase her)...I can feel B afraid me when we meet,we don't have any topic to chat when meet.But,in messaging,we got lot of topic to chat..Maybe B bashful..is ok..nevermind..Day pass by day,i felt myself gave more and more feeling on B..I knew that it gonna be worst.My presentiment is accurate,B told me that she don't need a lover,she just need a friend..This also some kind of reject style..I try lot of way to win B heart,but,it is totally useless....I told myself."nevermind,don't give up,gonna have a miracle".. What the hell...I'm getting jealus when i knew gt 1 of my friend very close B and i'm not intentionally on my studies...Everyday,i'm in moody condition..My friend advise me to put her down,i try to do it bt fail..After spm,i was so lucky because choosen for National Service....During national service,i meet C..All my friend always poke fun at me with C.After finish da National Service,still gt contact with C..At the same time,i thought that been with C can help me forget B..Soon,started to chase C..Although C accept my love,but,i still cannot forget B..I knew that it is unfair with C,but,i try all da way already..I still cannot forget B..So,i make a decision to break off with C and continue da love on B.I hurt C and i wont forget my behavior..GOD!!What am i doing?? Please..don't consider me as PLAYBOY..I'm not!!

For now,I think i really cannot do anything...What can i do is just...........
Waiting for your love to come through,
Waiting for you enter my heart,
Waiting for your answer.......
Sorry...i'm still cannot learn how to let it go....hope my decision doesn't give any burden to you...
B.....SARANGHAEYO....

tommy's slide show

Trip to adopt family

Let me introduce our cute cute adopt brother..his name is alon...as shown in picture below..cute..rite??
Adopt Brother(alon)
If you people see clearly,there really gt a girl shape stone stand beside the cave.
Sungai Jenih..We swim at here..hehe
Wif da adopt family

hmm..how i knew my adopt family??let me think 1st...o ya..is baktisiswa programme..after we came back from baktisiswa programme,it has been a long time since we've met our adopt family.So,as adopt son,we have the responsibility to visit them..let me introduce my friend to you all..First person is CON,(sorry, i don't know his full name, i just know nick name only.XD!)Next,ah seng (jason) ,sai lou (chung kiat) and vernoon..this is our ''family''members..This da end of my introduction.hehe.ok,i think i should stop bullshit. last sunday(31/8),we've decided go visit to our adopt family.So,at first,we decided to go at 7.00 a.m. wake up and take da 7.30 a.m bus go to kangar,who know's all of us sleep till 9.30 a.m..So,we gonna take 10.30 am bus to kangar.Around 11 a.m,we reach kangar town.We saw lots of people and car full of Malaysia flag infront of KWSP.They are celebrating merdeka celebration..After that,we rush to The Store bus station 2 meet our adopt sister.She is waiting for us and we've rented a taxi back to our adopt family house.Our adopt family house is located at batu bertangkup.We reached at adopt family house at 12.30 p.m. We have a great meal at there especially ikan keli.That's really delicious..haha..After eat,my friend straight away go to sleep.Maybe to tired or what,because they dint sleep well few days le..So,just left me and CON talking and playing to our adopt brother.One of them name Alon,he is so cute.haha.XD!After finish playing with them,i also took a short nap because i'm very tired de..

Around 5 p.m,we woke up and our adopt brother bring us to bukit chuping.He told us about the mitos of chuping hill..He said long time ago there was a girl had been cursed and now became stone..(as shown in picture below).After that,our adopt family bring us to sungai jenih to have a swim..We really have a unforgetable and sweet memory at there..After that,we also took some picture and some beautiful view as photographic memory..At night,they sent us to our hostel at seberang ramai..Today,i really have a nice and sweet memory.i already show it up..enjoy ya..OK,I think i should stop writing and that's all from me...